Should I be worried?

A family member gave me this book yesterday.
I think I'm going to kill myself....Ugh.

A Tale of Two Jessica's

I thought after I had a baby I would lose the weight quickly and look like I did before I had one. HA!! That's a good one isn't it. :) I was so naive... I saw all of these Hollywood stars who looked like they weren't pregnant in the first place a week after having a baby. I was thin before I had my first baby so I thought I would be like them. Well, I could barely even move a week after childbirth, let alone remotely resemble what I used to look like pre-pregnancy.

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I know stars have nannies and personal trainers but still, how do they look so good so quickly? Well, thank you Jessica Alba for revealing a little secret. She recently gave an interview and admitted to wearing a girdle to help with the extra baby fat. Granted, I figured a lot of these women did this but it is just so refreshing to have one admit it! They aren't perfect! They struggle with baby fat, just like we do. She also said she tried working out to help lose the weight and she would just cry afterward. Thank you Jessica Alba, a kindred spirit.

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Now, I am sure unless you have been living under a rock you have heard all the kerfuffle going on about Jessica Simpson's weight gain. I'm just curious what other's thoughts are on this subject. She has definitely exploited her body image to help further her career. So, when you build your image based on your body are you fair game when you gain weight?

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For me personally, I don't think her weight gain is that big of a deal. So what if she is no longer a size 2. My only problem with those pictures are those horrible pants she chose to wear! Eeek! But, I digress... The girl is just really happy right now. So she doesn't look like she did when she did the Dukes of Hazzard, big deal. She admitted to working out for hours each day to look like that. Do people really think women over 22 can just naturally look that good without a ton of effort? Since she looked so good before is she now expected to maintain that image forever? It must be tough being a woman in Hollywood. No wonder the women wear girdles after having babies.

My Ode to Caffeine - Alas, I must bid thee farewell

Due to reasons that are beyond my control, meaning apparently my heart can no longer take the joyous raptures you bestow,

I must bid thee farewell,

my favorite drink,

my Nectar of the Gods,

my Mountain Dew.

Caffeine. My favorite drug.

I crave,

I pine,

I love.

Ah, you are a fair weather friend. But I will miss you.

What will I do without the adrenalized highs and the mind-numbing headaches, the bloated cow sort of feeling that can only come from drinking your syrupy sweetness.

Goodbye my long-suffering friend,
my lighted path in dark hallways,

my beacon in the stormy sea of life with a toddler.
Somehow I will learn how to stay awake without you.

Somehow I will go on.

I believe I have the answer....

chocolate.

Venting

I am putting this out here because I wanted to know if other people find this same phenomenon in their wards...

I basically live on Wisteria Lane- everybody is perfect, there are never any problems, and bad hair days simply don't exist. But, as I have thought about this, I have realized that it hasn't seemed to be just my ward that has this problem. In my old ward, every mom would say how wonderful their baby was- easily slept through the night, never cried, was always happy. My baby, on the other hand, was literally a monster. She had colic, drove both her dad and I crazy, and left us wondering if we would ever have children again (we have made a deal with Heavenly Father that this new baby we are pregnant with must be a perfect angel or we are done). However, if I ever tried to mention this at a mom's group, everyone looked at me as if I had a third eye- it was as if I had to pretend like she was this perfect baby and that I wasn't completely falling apart inside.

Then, I recently found out a friend of mine is leaving her husband after 10 years of being in an emotionally, and eventually physically, abusive relationship. Come to find out, she felt that she could never talk to anybody about her problems because everybody has "perfect" lives and would judge her if she would have the audacity to complain about her horrible husband. (I get the impression this was not just her feeling that others looked down on her, but would say things and act in certain ways to truly make her feel like a bad person if she ever tried to talk to anyone about this). Since she finally left him, however, she has had several people come forward and say they are experiencing the same thing, but feel like they have nowhere to turn. Keep in mind, these are women who were sealed in the temple- but their husbands, obviously, were not keeping those covenants.

Last week at church on Wisteria Lane, we had a lesson on being positive in your life. Of course, because nobody ever has bad days in Suburbia, every comment was, "whatever happens, you just need to smile and trust in the Lord and everything will be OK."

I wanted to scream from the mountain tops: NOT EVERYTHING IS A LAUGHING MATTER!!!! I had thoughts of hurting my baby, not because I didn't love her, but because I was SOOOO frustrated- and putting a smile on my face and pretending like everything was OK, was NOT the solution! I needed support, I needed to know that other people understood what I was going through, and people who were willing to help- I didn't need everyone telling me how perfect their lives were! People need to know that there are situations that are not laughing matters, that they have people they can turn to and talk to, and that they won't be judged because their life isn't perfect (or at least that they shouldn't be)!!!

So, my question is this: Why do we feel this need to be perfect all the time? It can't happen, why can't we allow ourselves a bad day once in awhile? Why can't we allow ourselves to talk to each other about problems, so that we don't have to feel alone? That only perpetuates the problem. I absolutely agree with trusting in the Lord that He will take care of us, but why not be able to confide in friends, visiting teachers, other moms, without being looked down upon??? It would have been really nice to have somebody say, "you know, my baby was rough, too- here are some things that I tried that maybe will work for you, too."

I guess my complaint is that we are putting undue stress on all women when we only say how perfect everything is, instead of being willing at times to admit that sometimes things don't always go great- and that's ok. But, we are all in this together and we can help each other out!

Have I ranted long enough????

Halloween and Thanksgiving - May You Rest In Peace

Like this poor turkey is about to be killed off , so are the holiday's of Thanksgiving and Halloween. Instead of the Christmas holiday gluttony beginning on December 1st, or of years late on November 1st. This year I noticed the decorations, the music playing in stores, the general merriment before Halloween. One place I frequented a week before that spookiest of holidays, had already replaced their Halloween ghosts, goblins, and witches with Santa's, reindeer, and snowmen. I looked out the window at the red and yellow leaves still clinging to their branches, the hazy, warm weather, and wondered if a splinter had just occurred in the space time continuum and I'd been fast forward to somewhere further ahead of myself.

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Pretty soon we'll be shopping for our Santa's and Christmas gingerbread houses in September and our Halloween costumes in July. And what about that great American holiday wedged in between the celebration's of birth and death? Thanksgiving; the heavenly aroma's, the inevitable leftovers, the turkey soup, the turkey sandwiches, the casseroles and creamy mashed potatoes that feed our families for weeks on end?

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I only know that I plan on wearing earplugs in Walmart to deafen Santa Claus in coming to town while I shop for my turkey. If I can even afford one that is...

I Can Eat A Whole Box....

I finally found one of my all time favorite cookies in Walmart yesterday. Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreos. Seriously, I love these, and they are only around for two months. Dipping them in milk or mixing them crushed with vanilla bean ice cream, is I don't know (almost as good as S-E-X) but don't tell anybody. They run out quickly. So if you see them, buy more than one. You'll thank me later. Trust me.

Bloggers Anonymous

The top 10 list of "symptoms" that you are addicted to blogging

In the "spirit" of education and awareness, we must tackle this issue head on. The first step to self help is acknowledging you have a problem. Personally, I refuse to acknowledge it! Where does that leave me I wonder? Hmm...

10. You check your blog stats a LOT. You occasionally get up in the middle of the night and sneak a peak.

9. Your significant other suspects you are having an affair with your blog. Even when you’re alone with your special person, you do find yourself thinking what your blog might be doing right then…

8. You “mental blog” while driving or on the train, and sometimes even when you are alone in the shower.

7. You filter everything through your post-writing. You can’t watch a movie, see a play, read an article, or share a sweet moment with your child without thinking of whether it’s blog-worthy.

6. You suffer from “blog envy” when another blogger posts something juicy before you do. You suffer “comment envy” when said post gets 40-something comments – the jerk!

5. You “binge blog” 3 or 4 posts at once—only to feel guilty and empty afterward.

4. You ditched all your real friends for blog friends, because, well, “they understand.”

3. You think, “I can stop at any time.”

2. Your lunch hour has become your “blog hour.” You keep a few posts tucked in your desk in case you need them during the day.

1. After 5 minutes of meeting someone really interesting you ask, “So - do you blog?”

How many got all 10? = A Blogger Maniac, probably needs an intervention soon from her non computer friends.

5-8? = Seriously neglecting the children by this stage

3-5? = Probably only neglecting the housework, the laundry is piling up, the dishes lay undone.

1-3? = Scrapbooking is still your favorite hobby.

How many did you check off ladies???