Not Impressed With This Season

I have to admit, I am HATING this season of Amazing Race (sorry, Lula- I couldn't wait for your update!). It is only my second season watching, and every time I watch it I get angry.

First and foremost, I absolutely can not stand Victor and Tammy. I just want to slap Victor's rediculous grin off his face. He is so amazingly cocky- how many times can he mention per episode that he is a lawyer?? News flash, Victor- nobody cares or is impressed that you are a lawyer! There are plenty of lawyers- get off your high horse. Then, I loved how Tammy said Sunday, "our dad thinks we're so privledged"- gee, I wonder if it's because last week you said the biggest car you ever drove is a Mercedes Benz, or because while others were crying about the poverty the Indians lived in, they were laughing and thought it was cute that the children were naked eating elephant dung. Ughhh- they make me sick! Now, granted, part of the reason I hate them is because of Nick and Starr from last season, and perhaps that is not fair. But, honestly, they just annoy me to no end! If they win, I have vowed to never watch the show again- and I mean it, I dislike them that much!

Another thing I hate about this season: the U-Turn. When the U-Turn was given, it was rediculous because you had to go straight from the U-Turn to the pit stop, meaning there was no time to make up the time lost from the u-turn- whoever got u-turned was going to be kicked off! It's like they purposely want to take out any suspense that could have been generated. Also, I'm mad they kicked off the strongest team. What I hate about most reality shows is that they always kick off the best team/person so the best person never wins- which I hate. With this u-turn, they were able to kick off one of the strongest teams- which annoyed me.

Also, why do they cast beekeepers and hillbillies? Just so we can get a good laugh at their ignorance? They obviously don't have a chance to win, they just put them on so we can make fun of them. They might as well only have 9 teams.

Then, with this particular season, everything has been perfectly predictable. This happened last season as well, and it's just boring. For instance, I can pretty much guarantee that barring some miracle, the stuntmen will be kicked off next week. We all knew it would either be the stuntmen or the blondes kicked off on Sunday, but it didn't really matter because whoever wasn't kicked off would be kicked off next week.

Sunday's episode, of course, was the most predictable. Victor and Tammy started in front and stayed in front the entire time. Then there was a large cluster of people who stayed a large cluster of people the entire time. In last were the blondes who stayed in last the entire time. The only reason they came close to catching up is because the stuntmen stupidly chose the road block that was 100,000 times harder and more time consuming then the other (another annoyance- road blocks should be equal, and those two were definitely not).

I am sure some of you are loving this season, but I am definitely not!

Attack of the mighty cheese - The Return of The Amazing Race

Where in the world was The Amazing Race this week?

Anybody have any guesses from the picture above? Truly one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

I love this tv show! I love to live vicariously though other people. Even strangers! That's why I like this program so much more than Survivor. In The Amazing Race, the landscape is as much of a character to be watched as the contestants, who unfortunately are always cast the same from season to season without much variety.

The challenges appear to be as funny as ever this year. From the rolling fifty pound cheese incident last week (they're lucky no one died from a deadly cheese smack to the head) to the pie-in-the-face smacking (which made me hungry).

The contestants include, as always: two blonde's without a clue ("I’ve never felt like such a dumb blonde in my entire life.”), a couple from the sticks, siblings that fight, a dating couple that gets along so-so, two parent/son teams, two of the tiniest stunt men I've ever seen, and of course, married couples trying to save their relationships while they travel. Because you know... that's the best place to work on a marriage.

Overall, it looks to be a satisfying season. Waa-hoo.

What to do when your husband likes The Bachelor more than you do.

I now live in a house divided. A rift has settled over our once happy household. A political battle you say? A battle over discipline? Religion? No, we could only be so lucky. Instead it's absurdity over the sensible. It's a battle over......The Bachelor.

The Bachelor, a tv show with only one redeeming quality. The guy is cute.

That's it.

I can find nothing else. I can find no other reason to watch it. And believe me, I've tried. My husband watches it quite faithfully with my daughter. They know the names of the cast of female characters and enjoy the play-by-play of all their crazy shenanigans. They know who hates whom, who has kids already, who the back-stabbers are, who's boobs are real.

Seriously, it's like watching a painful, slow-motion car crash. But, if you're a man what's not to like? That guy is living every man's fantasy. A harem of beautiful, dim-witted women letting the claws come out over you, having sex with you, kissing you every day. Telling you amidst their teary sobs, "I think I'm falling for you", or "I've never felt this way before", or "I love you so much".

Just what a man wants is a needy, desperate girl. What a great example for my daughter. I'm all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

And, I haven't touched on those hideous rose ceremonies. The long, drawn out pauses. The downward glances. The teary goodbyes.

I think I'm going to puke. Yet my husband loves it.
I don't know what to do. Divorce? Counseling? A trail separation?

If I only I could direct him toward tv worth watching. Making fun of people who can't sing, let alone dress themselves. Ah yes, American Idol - a favorite of mine this time of year. I only tune in for the first few weeks of every season. Those are car crashes I can bear to watch. When it starts to actually showcase talent, then I'm afraid I can take no more.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel! February contains quite a list of new shows.
The Amazing Race - Feb. 15
Survivor - Feb. 12
Medium - Feb. 2

Men and women sometimes clothed, sometimes only in their underwear, traveling the world and fighting for a million dollars vs. a psychic mom and her hot husband.

Now that's great tv.

The Amazing Race Update - "Nyet, Nyet, Nyet!"

Last Sunday's episode was by far one of the funniest ever on The Amazing Race. I tried so hard to find a picture of Dan trying to march with the soldiers in Russia. It was so embarrassing, he probably bought up all the rights.

If you didn't see it, think Jerry Lewis in "The Nutty Professor" or Elaine trying to dance on Seinfeld. It's an understatement to say the guy struggled and hopefully his 'babe' stock didn't plummet off the charts like it did when he said he's never ironed anything before.

Andrew held his tongue pretty well considering, of course, he's the one that held them up because he couldn't put on a foot wrap. A foot wrap? Huh...You just can't write this stuff. I'm glad they're still in the picture, as the show would be as interesting as bland, butterless toast without them.

I'm also glad the dominating siblings hit a few stumbling blocks in the form of inept taxi drivers. There is justice in the world...

The Amazing Race Update - So who doesn't want to eat a sheep's bum?

Ah, we must say goodbye to my favorite manic depressive on TV. Terrence and Sarah were eliminated on Sunday night. Things I'll miss about him: his thoughtful nagging, his always wanting to be touched, his psycho hair, his whining. Hmm, what else.

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Did you notice what a stoic his girlfriend was? When he screwed up and practically lost the thing for them, did you hear her whining to him about it, like he would have done to her? The woman is a saint.

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And so in short, I just don't know if the show will be as entertaining to watch now. If the Superbad boys, Dan and Andrew get eliminated next it might have a hard time maintaining my attention through to the end. Especially if the brother/sister team continue to win. I'm so sick of them. Just a theory...

Amazing Race Update - "Please hold while I singe my skull."

Dallas wanted to make the moves on Starr, but found it difficult. He explained, "Starr's a cool girl, but to find that alone time just to be able to hang out…it's tough. My mom's with me. My mom’s the worst wingman ever." Starr added, "Dallas and I have a great friendship that has formed which will probably continue after the race. There is an attraction there."

Eewwww! Head band, Rocky Balboa kid is falling for the evil twin sister! Nothing like looking in on young love in action. You, me, and that kid's mother.

Double eewww!

But hey, it's made for some great television. I enjoyed this last episode immensely. Ken and Tina finally came in last. And he cried! I swear does it get any better than this? So is their relationship still headed down the porcelain potty? Do we really care?

Terrence and Sarah - newly dating couple - were also in rare form. While she tried to quickly paint the yellow auto rickshaw green, he definitely offered words of encouragement. Let me paraphrase, "Nag, nag, naggedy-nag, let me me please nag you some more, because boy it's really working." As much as I hate to say it, he's almost like a woman. Even the frat boys called him on it. If I was her, I'd be heading for the hills.

The frat boys, Andrew and Dan definitely had the most depressing line of the episode. He joked, “I’ve never ironed in my life. That’s my mom’s department. There was never any ironing going on in the frat house."

Scary.

Crime Aid instead of Farm Aid - Who knew?

Hey, I have a new favorite show! Am I the last person on the planet to be watching this 'mockumentary'? It's hysterical! It's on at a bad time of night for me (between homework, latenight snacks, potty breaks, more homework) so I haven't had a chance to watch it until now. But between Michael and Holly's exploring "third date" possibilities, exboyfriends showing up, the sycophant Dwight intermingling with the monotone lady, and the fake Bruce Springsteen tickets, I'd have to say, it's funny, funny stuff. And it's not on cable. Who'd of thought? Time to break out the ancient VCR and do some taping - For you younger kiddies that's the machine you put those big black ugly (you know like the 8 tracks) tapes in and it plays on the TV. No really, it does.
I'd hate to miss another episode. Because I have no life apparently...

The Amazing Race - Hi, I'm FeelsDud. Welcome to New Zealand

"I wonder if they like blonde's in New Zealand?" Apparently not.

Oh, I am sad to report that the pink ladies made a teary exit this week-Does anyone else think they look like twin Jamie Lynn Spears's? (I wonder where they got those fingernail polish pink sweatsuits.)

There was a lot of bickering between some of the teams this time. The frat boys were funny, one working, one complaining if the tasks were about sports trivia, he'd have all the answers. (We'll isn't that true of us all. We all remember useless information, and cannot name the three branches of our government.) The long distance dating couple didn't tango so well this time either. I don't remember his exact comment, but he was complaining about how fast his girlfriend's mood changed with her circumstance. I wanted to say: Welcome to the intricate psyche of the female. We are all that way. Maybe you'd know that if you lived in the same town as her.

The highlight of the night was finally figuring out that Phil's dad was the one introducing them to the country. At first I kept wondering who FeelsDud was. Was he a national leader? Coach of the soccer team? A sheep herder? No, he's Phil's dad!! And then, after I finally figured it out, they quit showing him close up! (I was wondering if he's as cute as Phil is. From what I could tell - no.)

Who's my favorite now? The 'Divorcees' are probably the most entertaining.

The Amazing Race - another pretend photo finish

I'm sad to report that the only 'couple' that was more functional than dysfunctional has effectively 'BEEN ELIMINATED'; the nerdy man friends. Read the clue closely people! I thought the 'Divorcees' had the monopoly on decoding the clues like Inspector Clouseau.

You'd think with their leads and the fantastic paper bike riding they would of been far ahead of the pack whether they cheated, unknowingly or not. Apparently biking, and wrestling with skirted women are not their forte. (Did anyone else think of Nacho Libre during that last part? Did anyone else think the guy from the 'Newly Separated Couple' team won that wrestling road block so easily because of his on the job training?)

Who will we clasp onto and love like family members now? Probably the "Dating Long Distance Couple', or perhaps the frat brothers, who look like they're straight out of Revenge of the Nerds. Stay tuned....

Survivor vs. The Amazing Race -- Round Two

Clear winner this week, drum roll please....The Amazing Race
My favorite lines from the team subtitled - Newly Dating Couple
"Could you just put pressure on it please!" Said the man who's hair sticks up like he's straight out of a Jetson's cartoon.
"I don't see anything," said the perplexed girlfriend, looking at his forehead that he'd supposedly cut.
"Just blow on it!" He whines. "I can feel the blood dripping down my face!"
She holds a rag to his imaginary wound, and has a look on her face like - What the.. (You fill in the rest.)

In their next shot, he had a tiny bandaid on his forehead. I'm talking the tiniest bandaid in the box, small. I laughed until even my 'I need some attention' pretend wounds hurt. We've all been there, haven't we ladies...

Between that couple and the "Newly Separated Couple" - you know, the blond woman who looks like a professional wrestler, the one who not only bosses around her weak husband whom she clearly has by the you-know-what's, but also entire airlines - this is turning out to be a great season for the show.

You seriously can't write this stuff..

Reality TV Fun Begins Again - Survivor vs. The Amazing Race

Ah, it's that time of year again. I say, there's nothing like watching grown men and women running amok in the mud in their underwear in one new show, and couple's bossing each other around while gallivanting across the world in another one. Talk about great tv. I'm in heaven...

After watching both season premiers, I'm afraid I cast my vote for the Amazing Race this time, mainly because Jeff Probst is getting so annoying. Does anyone else think he gets more sardonic and mean with each passing episode? Perhaps he's had enough of the exotic traveling and is sick of the beach sand that has taken up permanent residence in his ...you know, where the sun doesn't shine? That would make me annoying too.

The Amazing Race only had one couple I liked, and it was two geeky men. They brought me back to my love of the hippies from several seasons ago. I wonder what ever happened to them. Probably built a convent somewhere and passed on their peace and love. Can these two nerdy men fill their shoes? Who will Jeff Probst verbally malign and belittle in the next tribal council? Anybody else watching and care to offer an opinion?
If not, stay tuned.....