Monday, January 4, 2010

Why you should never date a diehard conservative man.

1. They can't take a joke.

2. They can't take a joke. Ever.

3. They have no sense of humor. It's like every day somebody killed their dog.

4. They use words like, "Hey sweetheart, let me tell you how you're wrong..." and then they talk and talk about how sensitive they are.

5. They love to brag about all the poor people they've helped, and yet...

6. They believe it's okay for everyone to pay for children in this country to get an education but not for them to have adequate health care. (That's just a privilege for the rich kids don't you know!)

7. Did I mention they can't take a joke?

8. They believe global warming is just a myth started by evil scientists, that pollution is just a big bad fog caused by peculiar weather patterns that will go away with magic fairy dust, and the end of the world began when Obama took office ( I must add here - because every time a Democrat takes office, the world ends..)

9. They renewed their subscription to Gun Lovers Anonymous, er, I mean Runners World after Sarah Palin was on the cover in her red shorty shorts. (Ooooo, how sexist of them! I'm sure those big bad editors doctored the cover. Oh wait, she posed for that picture! Huh..)

10. I'm betting they aren't so good in the sack either.

Sad so sad.


Carlos said...

Lula, nice to see you back! Hope you had a Merry Xmas & an even better Happy New Year.

Funny ... is this your list? It's very true, they have no sense of humor, and on no. 10 they overcompensate by being mean-spirited and sexist.

Lula O said...

Hey! Same to you. My kids are back in school. The holidays are done. woo-hoo.

Sadly, yes. This is mine. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but I can only take so much of the madness for crying outloud! I expected as much on no. 10. Although I did once date a Republican who told me we couldn't get married unless I converted to the dark side as well. I broke up with him.

Been enjoying your blog over the break by the way. Loved the House of Horrors. I say who needs cable with you guys around.

Ben and Christina said...

My favorite is #8. It reminds me of my bro-in-law who insists that organic foods are a government conspiracy. I laughed really, really hard when I heard that!

Lula O said...

Sorry I swore on your blog Christina. I get that way when I feel I'm unfairly attacked. An attack I don't recall instigating. Apparently sarcasm=personal attack for some people. Apparently that's license to sound off on everything that bugs you about "liberal" women whatever the hell that means.

Maybe you should post your BW lists over here from now on so we can keep the personal beatings off the family blogs.

I bet you didn't know you were so controversial amongst your friends!

Ben and Christina said...

No worries. I brought it upon myself. But this way I know people actually read my blog!

Carlos said...

Lula, you swore? You must've been reading our blog at the time ... sorry.

Let me guess: The wingnut with an ironic lastname? Hope you weren't too rough on the dude; they're quite insecure with easily bruised egos.

Anyway, don't be a stranger. Stop by and drop us a note or two. :)

srbushman said...

Welcome back! And loved the list. I do have to say my hubby has a GREAT sense of humor and completely contradicts #10 (TMI?) Yet, maybe this list doesn't apply to him because although his principles are definitely conservative, he is NOT active in politics/debates/etc. Ah well. Welcome back!

Lula O said...

Same for my husband. He claims no political party. He's nondenominational he says. That's probably a good thing as we wouldn't get along other wise. Pretty sure of that!

Yes, Carlos. You guessed right. Probably wasn't too hard...

srbushman said...

Ok, after reading Christina's post about Barbara wa-wa, this whole post makes SO much more sense! Sorry I missed a heated debate. Too funny. And Lula, I'm disappinted you didn't blast Scott Brown for his whole posing nudey for Cosmo in 1982, and how he is the "turning point" for the Rep. party in this midterm election! Oh, it is wrong in so many ways! Don't get me wrong, I am happy there is not a filibuster proof senate, but really!?!?