Friday, January 30, 2009

Re-living the Past....


While driving my kids to school this morning, a song playing on the radio, Reo Speedwagon's Can't fight this feeling, took me back almost instantly to my beginnings in high school, oh so many years ago. Back to the days of cassette tapes and 8-tracks and going to rock concerts filled with big-haired girls, and big-haired men, all of which wore make-up! (Try to envision it ladies. I know it's hard since you were like two, or maybe even still an egg in your mom's ovary during the early eighties.)

This song reminded me how I often would find myself in sticky situations as a teen. I seemed to be in trouble all the time. Or in some cases, trouble spots where I didn't have a clue I was making a bad decision. This song in particular made me think of a boy named Wayne, (yes his name should've been my first clue) who once took me for a ride in his car. He loved this song. He played it over and over. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. I know now he was trying to get me in the mood.

It didn't work. I was able to fight the feeling along with some colorful language and a really well placed shove!

But still, I think about that every single time I hear this song. Why was I so dumb?

It's sometimes difficult to remember, as adults, that we were once...unfinished. Young. Thin. Without a care in the world. This last week I've been trying to remind myself of this as I deal with my oldest child. He had an...incident at school that resulted in some disciplinary action. My thoughts have run the evolutionary scale from mildly furious, then just angry, to disappointment, and finally empathy. And so, having learned a valuable lesson at least for now - Think before you act - he's doing much better.

And I have learned the same. Before I condemn my son for making a bad decision I need to remember that common saying on many a headstone: As he is, I once was.

I survived my teens. So will he, hopefully relatively unscathed and with no permanent damage. I can only stand by and watch and hope for the best, trying not to pull all my hair out in the process. Trying to be understanding. Trying to remember that I too, was a little stinker.

My poor parents! I think I need to go write them a thank you card right now for not selling me to the gypsies.
Although that might've been fun...

6 comments:

Ben and Christina said...

SOOOO glad I don't have teenagers- yet.

Bryce and Mandy said...

What a funny story! And I can vouch for you, she really did have huge hair!! There are pictures to prove it. :)

I think it must be incredibly hard to stand by and watch your kids make bad decisions. Of course you can guide them but they only listen to you as much as they want to. At some point you have to let them make their own decisions and boy is that a scary thought! But, it is the only way they will learn. You can only raise them as best as you can and hope for the best.

The Bradfords said...

I sooooooo want to see Lula's big hair! Post a photo! Post a photo! Here's what I've noticed lately--I remember thinking my parents were "so dumb" because of the things they didn't "get" or couldn't do, AND I remember thinking I would never be like that as a parent. I vowed to be hip and cool. Well, I recognize those looks my kids give me. They're the same looks I gave my parents. I guess I'm not as cool and hip as I wanted to be or thought I would be, and I've learned that I truly don't care (most likely my parents did the same). But my point is, it is inevitable for our kids to think we are "so dumb" at some point. Yes, Christina, enjoy your stage in life without teenagers and do all you can to gear yourself up for what's to come.

The Bradfords said...

Oh yeah, one more thing: When I took my kids to school today I heard "Love Shack". If your friend Wayne played that one before or after I Can't Fight This Feeling, you might have had a bigger problem. Maybe you could teach a neighborhood class on self-defense...sounds like you're an expert. I'm so glad to have a friend that remembers the 80's (and 70's) with me.

Lula O said...

I have the perfect picture in mind. I just have to find it! Did you ever go to a rock concert Suzette? I'd pay good money to see a picture of that!

Ah, Wayne was but the first in a long line of sexual deviants. What can I say? I know how to pick em'.
And guess what? I once had a green belt in karate, even competed, a looooong time ago. If you want to know how to poke someone's eyeball out, I'm your girl.

Peter said...

REO Speedwagon was a product of my law school alma mater, the Unviversity of Illinos. When home from undergrad, we'd go see them for 50 cents at coffee houses. Remember, you can tune a piano...